The Wall
A collection of comments from Tiktok trolls and other antagonists
Please do not harass any of these people. This is for entertainment and educational purposes only.
If I find out you are abusing them back, I will block you.
This comment was memorable because when I reported it to Tiktok, they found no violation. But my response to him, which was simply, “FU” was found in violation and I was banned from commenting for 3 days.
This is quite typical for Tiktok. It’s a common experience for women that when violence is reported, Tiktok finds nothing wrong with it, but any unkind word to a man is found in violation and men like Jeff Addington are free to harass women.
Accountability
Very often, men feel convicted by the content I put out and feel a desperate need to fight back against the accusation coming at them, and they try to make it my fault, or as my ex did, turn to weaponized misery to say, “I guess it’s all my fault, I’m just a terrible husband.”
Insufferable Narcissist
Every day a man calls me a narcissist. It’s how I first heard the term. It’s something they say to and about women who try to take control of themselves away from these men.
It’s commonplace now and I’m no longer offended or hurt by it. But it does give me immediate insight into who this person is and how they will handle the rest of the conversation.
These are the men who can’t be swayed to love a woman in any genuine capacity. These are men who only want her to be pliable and obedient.
This is a screenshot of the original conversation that led to this video about sexual health. We think of sexual health from science class as largely reproductive, but what I’m attempting to do is shift the conversation to the health of our arousal center and the psychological safety that makes us truly healthy in all areas of our sexuality.
Cats & Wine
For some reason threatening me to a life with cats (or a dog) and wine is super popular!
This guy was insistent that I not feel what I feel and definitely stop talking about it.
This was on the viral video about the cat licking herself. Men were all over me for that one, stumbling over each other to tell me about the obligation a woman has to her husband in the bedroom.
These men are quick to demand love and respect, thinking they’ve given it, but they don’t count coercive behavior as disrespectful.
They’re adamant that not only would they cheat if they’re not satisfied, but they’d be right to do it.
Sometimes a filter or trend comes along that inspires me and I just want to have some fun.
Tyler was fun. I was newly divorced, just a few days at this time, and I was feeling free in my sexuality and very relaxed in dealing with these men.
This one stayed up for almost a year before someone reported it. It was pulled for abusive behavior just now as I was adding other videos to this page. Good timing! So it’s here now too.
Cheating & Abandonment
Extremely common for these men is to tell me he is justified in cheating or leaving if he has caused her to no longer be aroused, rather than work with her to foster a deeply intimate connection.
Compatibility
Most often people mistake this as a compatibility issue. We just didn’t mesh well in the bedroom. Sometimes men cling to this idea to avoid the reality that they themselves have coerced someone.
Lesbian
One of the more comical comments are the ones telling me I’m a lesbian, or I should be.
Objectify Themselves Financially
Common for these men is to equate their objectification of their wives with the belief that they themselves find their value in their paycheck and whatever tangible items they can contribute to a relationship. This is the more pitiful of comments as they truly cannot see themselves as worthy of more.
Condone Coercive Rape
Some of the worst will come right out and say that coercion is acceptable or that coercive behaviors are not abusive. These are the ones I block right away.
Stay Single, Don’t Get Married, or Just Leave
One of the more common themes in the comments is that when a man has turned a woman off she should leave the relationship, abandon her husband, or better yet, save him the trouble and just not get married at all, better to stay single. Most women who’ve been coerced seem to agree single is safer.
What about him?
In other words, “What about me and my needs?” This is what coercive husbands around the world say to shame their wives into unwanted sex. When they aren’t capable or willing to foster real intimacy, they use guilt trips to manipulate her into fulfilling his “needs” against her will.
Say unto others as they say unto you
(but with slightly better vocabulary)
I don’t respond to all of them, but sometimes I’m in the mood.
Sometimes I’m just annoying because I can be.
It is actually very uncommon for a woman to “never” turn a man down unless she feels there will be consequences for doing so.
Unbelievably common for these men to compare money to sex. The same men who see a woman’s value in her sexuality are the same men who see their own value in their job or financial status.
Trolling at the park
This video was reported for “bullying and harassment” and then restored with “no violation found”. This is what they do. We’re having a conversation and they barge in with opinions and try to have the conversation derailed when we don’t comply with their demands. When one man can get a group of women thrown out of a park because he doesn’t like them talking about men, that’s the patriarchy.
Average Insults
When they run out of things to throw at me, they resort to every day ad hominem.
